Category Archives: Reflections

Reflections on how we feel and how the mission is changing us

What to Expect

Reflections

I keep getting asked if I’m excited to go to Texas and I never know what to say.  On one hand I am excited to get hands-on experience and to try to help in whatever way we can, but at the same time I feel like I can’t anticipate what we will encounter while we are in Texas.  This is a very grave crisis happening in our own country and I myself haven’t put much thought into it in the past few years given my location.  It makes me feel guilty that it only came back into my attention because it was something that could benefit me.  I think that at the moment I feel more anxious, while in theory I know what we will be doing and can anticipate some of the challenges we’ll be facing, I know that there is a lot I don’t know.  I’m looking forward to becoming more skilled in field techniques such as line searches and photography, and I’m looking forward to traveling and getting to experience even a fraction of what life is like in South Texas and understanding the difficulties of migrants forced to travel through rough terrain.  

We are coming in effectively as foreigners. Meaning the culture in northern Michigan where I’m from is a lot different from south Texas. So, while I’m interested in seeing how “different” life is in Texas, I realize people living in border communities will view my experiences and perspectives as “different” as well. I recognize that my education and upbringing has given me privilege. I realize the way I say and approach things are a part of that privilege. I think that will be a big challenge for me, balancing my desire to help with my nervousness of doing or saying the wrong thing.  I want to help in any way that I can, but I don’t want to give off the impression I think I can solve any part of this crisis.  

We’ll only be in Texas for a week, and there’s only so much we can do to help in a week. So, we must push ourselves to get as much as we can get done safely and try to make as much of a positive difference as we can.  Even though it is just a week I know we will do good work and through this blog hopefully show others that there is still a humanitarian crisis, and that the issues don’t end when the news stops reporting on them.  While I am nervous and anxious about the work we’ll do in Texas I am also hopeful.  I hope that what we do will help better the people affected by the migrant crisis, whether it’s a family member waiting for news on their missing relative, or a migrant who stops at a water station and gets a necessary break from their difficult journey.  I think it will be important for us as a team to remind ourselves that whatever we get done is still progress, and by participating in this program and doing good work we can hopefully inspire more people in the future to donate their time or money to assist the volunteers who do this work in Texas year-round.

Ella

When Moments Become Memories

Reflections, Snapshots

My son was assigned a book to read in his English class and asked me to read it with him. It was called “The Giver” by Lois Lowry. What started as an effort to bond and find conversation with my son ended as a reflective experience, with many connections to the Beyond Borders Team and our work in the Texas borderlands. A major theme of the book focuses on memories. The characters in the book have none. There is no memory of the past, of other places or other experiences. Each person lives and believes there is only now. Memories are essential for growth and understanding. Our memories allow us to do well in school, to get everything we need at the grocery store, to drive a car, care for ourselves, and so much more. Our memories allow us to grow as humans and our memories allow us to avoid mistakes. These trips create core memories for the team that benefit them professionally and emotionally. With each trip I see how the team members mature in so many ways.

Team member Justin helping Dr. Latham dig
My memory from our first mission to Brooks County in 2013. Teamwork exemplified as Justin held my arm so I didn’t fall into the area I was excavating.

Our memories also hold our emotions. The Giver tells us that life is not complete without the good and the bad experiences. That is the irony of these trips. The team is purposely put in a terrible experience. It’s one in which death, despair, struggle and questioning is all around us. “He knew that there was no quick comfort for emotions like those. They were deeper and they did not need to be told. They were felt.” This blog is a way for the team to communicate their experiences and their emotions, but in reality, readers will never feel what we feel. And we will never feel what it feels like to be someone forced to cross into the US through clandestine paths. Yet, through these bad emotions and experiences, the memories are good. Team members leave with a sense of confidence in their abilities and in what they accomplished.

Dr. Latham analyzing skeletal remains
photo by the Houston Chronicle — My memory from our first lab mission to TX State University in 2015. We worked directly on skeletal analysis to aid in identification efforts.

That is because we tend to think of memories as absolute records of the past. But in fact, our memories evolve as we grow and change. They are colored by the reflection of who we are today. Often our memories are not what actually happened, but what we need to remember to support who we are today. That means our memories and experiences allow us to change our minds and our perspectives. Not because we were wrong, but because we are evolving and growing. In The Giver, Jonas longed for choice. Living in the now means accepting everything as it is. With memory comes choices and decisions. The decision facing Beyond Borders Team members is what they will do with the memories and experiences from their trip.

Team members paint AGUA on barrels
My memory from our first mission working with The South Texas Human Rights Center in 2015. Team members Justin and Amanda prep water barrels for us to place on migrant routes.

I saw a quote by another author that seems fitting here in talking about decisions in how you approach situations. “Sympathy is easy because it comes from a position of power. Empathy is getting down on your knees and looking someone else in the eye, and realizing that you could be them, and that all that separates you is luck.” -Dennis Lahane 

Team members with Deputy White on a search
My memory from our first search & recovery mission working with Deputy White in 2018. Team members are planning how to proceed with search the area.

Thank you for following us and sharing our journey.

~KEL

Pre-Reflections for the Trip of a Lifetime

Reflections, Snapshots
Packing suitcases and my US passport to travel to Falfurrias, Texas.
Packing my suitcases and US passport to travel to Falfurrias, Texas.

There is much I have been preparing for as it gets closer to the day we leave to travel to Falfurrias, Texas. I’ve spent days preparing by writing lists for everything I’ll possibly need, shopping, and packing my bags. I’ve thought about how I will be able to handle the environment of South Texas and what things I can preemptively do to help me physically in the field. In reflectance, I find that this is just another aspect of the privilege in how I live my life. Those who cross the border from Mexico to Texas don’t have the luxury to buy clothing to protect themselves from the harsh vegetation including thick pants and leather gloves. Migrants, likewise, don’t have the time or funds to prepare ahead of time like taking enough food, water, and medications to aid them on their journey. My teammates and I are privileged to be traveling with others who know the area, support us, and are very prepared in case of an emergency. These individuals embark on this journey with minimal supplies and guidance driven solely by a want for a better life. The experiences of migrants making the journey to cross into the United States will be nothing like our own. This experience will help me attempt to understand the challenges millions of migrants face entering and living in the United States.

I have gotten increasingly nervous each day as it gets closer when we leave on January 3rd. I’ve been most concerned with how I can mentally prepare for the things I will see while searching the Texas wilderness for migrants in distress. I’ve found that I am a very empathetic person and tend to place myself in other’s shoes in order to attempt and understand what they are experiencing. In reading literature on migrant experiences, it has become more and more clear how this experience will test my ability to handle my emotions in the field. The personal accounts that I read about are sometimes hard for me to understand or digest fully. Seeing the physical remains of migrants’ journeys in person and hearing stories from those who’ve dedicated their lives to searching will likewise be hard but necessary for my growth. Talking with everyone on the team and back home can remind me to keep a positive attitude amid such an emotionally challenged environment. I am very thankful that I will be traveling with a team with which I feel comfortable asking questions and expressing how I am feeling.

The Beyond Borders humanitarian mission to the Texas-Mexico border is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. There will be so much for me to learn and experience while in the field searching for individuals who may have gone missing en route. Being able to experience hands-on the reality of this humanitarian crisis and the culture of these areas will be truly enlightening. I am very excited to learn from and work with Remote Wildlands Search and Recovery and with the South Texas Human Rights Center. Hopefully, the work I get to do in the Texas Borderlands will help aid in individuals keeping the basic human rights they are entitled to. This experience, I foresee, will be life-changing and solidify whether I want to work as a forensic anthropologist in human rights contexts.

Chastidy