When I woke up Thursday morning at 6 AM, I was completely alone for the first time in a week. Not only was I alone, there was no reason for me to get out of bed. For some this would sound great, but it was a little disconcerting to me. Wasn’t I supposed to be doing something right now? Wasn’t there some place I needed to be? Of course there are things I need to do, like laundry or grocery shopping, but the drive to get my self to do anything was just not there. This past week, I had been driven by my own goals on top of my team’s goals and that was incredibly empowering.
As I think about my own hardships, they seem surface level and small. I sit here, reconciling that I feel alone in my apartment that has all my things: food, water, and a cell phone that could connect me to whoever I wanted in a second, when we just spent the week searching for migrants who have gone through the hardest physical and emotional labor that I could imagine. Experiencing just a fraction of the environment they face has opened my eyes. It takes three days to travel through Brooks County on foot, and during this time you cannot stop or you will get left behind. I knew this going in, as I knew we would be looking for the remains of these individuals, but knowing it and seeing it has hit me differently.
I am privileged to be able to return to Indianapolis easily by airplane and that I can go back to my life as a student, things that seem simple to me that can be complicated by the migration process. If they successfully make it through Brooks County and beyond, they have to rebuild their life in a completely different country, likely without speaking the language, where a lot of people are hoping for their failure. The rhetoric surrounding migrants and their path north can be extremely negative because people don’t truly understand what is happening. Or they don’t see these individuals as actual people. Derogatory terms are used to not only belittle their experiences, but to other them as a group of people. I do not know why the individual that we recovered decided to cross the border, but I do know that they were loved and had people looking for them. Doesn’t that sound like every other person you know? No matter the circumstances, if you lost a loved one, wouldn’t you want someone to care enough to find them and return them to you?
I find it difficult to think about my own feelings surrounding our trip when there are individuals we did not find. This trip was a considerable success, as we helped Don and Ray clear a lot of land and assess whether or not certain pathways were still active, but I can’t help feeling like I missed something. This feeling was discussed by our team at length as it is something that we all struggled with, but here I sit, still wrestling with the idea that I could have done more. I want to continue to do more, even back in Indianapolis, over 1,000 miles away. If there is one thing I learned from this trip, it is that this is the work that I want to do and that I will continue to do more.
Beyond Borders 2025 team from left to right: Frankey Leggio, Makenna Mizell, Dr. Krista Latham, Lilly Bucher, Dr. Amandine Eriksen, and Chastidy Gilbert
It was a foggy morning. When we were walking to breakfast at 7 AM, it was still dark. You could barely see the other side of the hotel and as we walked I hoped that the ominous weather now was not a reflection of the rest of the day. As we drove down the highway towards La Copa Ranch to meet Ray and Don, the van was silent while we all woke up and adjusted to the dim morning. Part sleepiness part preparation for the day ahead, the music playing softly and the sound of the air conditioning filled the silence.
Day 2 of our mission would start about an hour and a half from La Copa, the ranch where Don and Ray are staying, and where we split between two trucks. The journey was less highway and more small caliche (sediment that hardens when dry and is semi-moldable when wet) roads that have been worn and traveled. It was a bumpy ride to our destination, as it was the day before and likely will be tomorrow. Because I rode with Don yesterday, I rode with Ray today and on our way, more stories and insight were shared. We had been on the road for an hour when we veered into the brush on what first did not look like a road. A short while later, a renewed carved two track path behind us, we reached our starting point.
The fog was still in full force when we stepped out of the trucks, with dew drops making the many spiderwebs in the brush stand out. Don began to explain that we were here because of a call that had been made about an individual who had went missing two years prior. There was also the possibility that another individual went missing in this area. They were supposedly at or around the coordinates Don was given (which led to a mot that was searched and cleared previously), and our goal was to fan out and search beyond the coodinates to potentially locate this individual.
Dr. Latham picking up a sweatshirt found in a mot
We began with line searches of the clearing we parked in and headed due North, sometimes scattering around and peaking into mots. In the beginning, we were not seeing any evidence of human activity, which could include trash or clothes, and it seemed that the day would have a similar result to Day 1. There were quail hunters on the property and every now and then, we would hear voices and gunshots. While we didn’t know a lot about quail hunting (the guns are short range) at the time, this was enough to make us nervous. As we neared the end of the search area, Don suggested we reach the tree line, peak in, and then turn around to line search the opposite side of the clearing on our way back to the trucks. By that time, the sun was starting to peak through and our pants were starting to dry from hiking through wet brush. Don had ventured a little further into the tree line, just where we couldn’t see him, and suddenly our walkies beeped and his voice rang out “ya’ll want to come look at this”. We headed in his direction, and after a few minutes of walking, there were Don and Ray smiling at us, knowing that we would soon be able to jump into the roles we traveled here to do and give this person’s family some long awaited answers.
Team members searching the brush
Our goal for Day 2 was realized, as our search resulted in a recovery. We cannot say for certain whether or not the recovery that was made was related to the call that Don had received, but based on the area and the time line of the related material artifacts found, he will be able to give as much detail as possible in his report to help with potential identification. We searched the surrounding area as thoroughly as possible.
Looking into a mott
By the peak of our process, the sun was out and bright, so staying hydrated was at the forefront of our minds. We had a 15 minute timer to remind us to drink water and take a break, and during this break, the consequences of hydration showed itself. While a couple of the team were taking care of their business, there was suddenly a noise from their direction. The rest of the team, sans Don who was searching the perimeter and Ray who had gone to get the truck, perked up as a high pitched howl rung through the air. One cry was joined by another, and then another and suddenly it seemed like they were coming from everywhere. The separated team members came running back towards the recovery site and it seemed like the howling only got louder. Was it getting closer? Where was Don? Where was Socks? Out of the thicket came Socks, who we were all yelling for, while Don went into the thicket to see what was going on. It turned out to be a pack of coyotes who had been startled and because Socks went to investigate, began to howl and cry in warning. The high pitch screams were so startling and so unlike anything we had experienced that for a good 10 minutes, we just stood at the site and waited for Don to come out of the brush.
A toast to a successful day
We finished our part in the recovery soon after Don had given us the all clear, and from there we made our way back to the trucks. Ray had returned to his truck to drive closer to us, as the walk back was a significant hike. Once we were back at our starting point, snacks and Mexican Cokes were shared and we toasted to a successful day.
We did not see the coyotes despite their close range, and the situation turned out the best it could have, but it makes one think about how the individuals who are making the journey North would have handled the same situation, not only at night, but with no protection or point of reference. We were also lucky enough to not have to walk back to our starting point, and especially after our first recovery, it emphasized how lucky we are to be in this position and how important the work that we assist with is. The terrain is so different at each ranch, but all of it is incredibly difficult to traverse. It is difficult in full body gear with access to water, snacks, and eyes on your back, so I could not even fathom the hardships and trauma that the migrants who walk these paths undergo.
Makenna Mizell and Lilly Bucher in the back of Ray’s truck
Today was a success. The foggy weather in the morning did not define our day, and this is something that I will keep with me. Our days are subject to change and how it starts is not always how it will end. We might not have been able to give a positive ID at the moment, but we found somone who likely has family and friends that have been searching for them and a lot of things were learned. Each day will present successes whether or not a recovery is made and going into Day 3, remembering this will be especially important.
I have been packing for this trip for about a month. At first, I was so focused on buying a pair of sturdy boots that everything else I have on my list faded into the background. Once I bought them, all I could think about was breaking them in. It seemed like it would be the end of the world if I didn’t and every time I wore them I was reminded of this incredible experience I was about to embark on. I think I focused so hard on those boots because I was afraid to prepare emotionally for what we are going to experience. There are so many things that I am looking forward to going into this trip, but there is a lot that I know will be challenging for me, physically and emotionally.
One, I am excited to experience a culture different than my own. South Texas will likely be an environment I have never experienced before and I will meet people who go through life in completely different ways than me or anyone I know. Two, I am excited to test my field skills and learn new ones. I have done archaeological work in western Illinois, but I know the environment is not comparable to what we will experience in south Texas. There will be more physical stresses present and added emotional stresses that I know to expect. Three, I am excited to learn more about the life experiences of individuals crossing the border. For everything that I am looking forward to, when considering this aspect of the trip, excited does not seem like the right word to say. We will be searching for individuals who have struggled more than I could ever understand and I am not yet sure how I will handle this. I aim to stay positive with my team and respectful of every individual we come across, and I believe the best way to prepare my self for this is to become as educated on the situation as possible before traveling down. Of course there are things that I will not learn from a book or might not be completely accurate, but keeping an open mind and a willingness to learn will be essential.
We fly down in about a week (from when I am writing this) and other than preparing the physical things that I need, I am working on gaining a better understanding of my position, not only as an outsider in Falfurrias, but as someone who will be putting themselves in a position to catch a glimpse of what a migrant might face. I accept that I will never truly understand, but I feel it is my responsibility to be as receptive as possible to their experiences. Because of this, I am most looking forward and committed to becoming a more empathetic and attentive listener and advocate.
