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Preparing for Falfurrias

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As we continue to prepare for our trip, I start to feel more excited and anxious. It feels like time is passing so slowly since we started our weekly meetings and packing lists. Now we have everything to pack, checked all the boxes on lists, and now await our flight on January 3rd. Trying to decipher what I am most excited about is difficult. It feels almost wrong to be excited about a trip to go to a place where so many people are struggling to survive. They experience these harsh conditions everyday and yet, we only go for a week and have everything we could possibly need. I know that a positive mindset is of the utmost importance for this trip, so as I reflect, I am trying to remind myself that there will be exciting times ahead. I am excited to experience a new place and learn more about a culture other than my own. I am excited to create new relationships and grow closer with my team. I know I will learn new technical skills that I will use in my future career and create memories I will never forget. I am so thankful for this opportunity and am anxiously waiting for our arrival to Falfurrias.  

I anticipate we will face many challenges, so many I am sure I can’t even think of them all. I know there will be tasks that I don’t anticipate being a challenge, but turn out to be extremely difficult. The weather will be slightly in our favor since we are traveling in January; however, you never know what Mother Nature has in store for us. I can anticipate physical pain, soreness, blisters, cuts, and thorns. I can anticipate early mornings, long days, and exhaustion. What I cannot completely anticipate are the mental strains of this trip. I have read previous blog posts, had conversations with trip alumni, read articles, and attended our weekly preparation meetings. I know the advice and tips I have been told, but will I actually know what to expect with just that little bit of information? I do not think I will and that creates a daunting task. This trip does not feel like a step outside of my comfort zone, but more like miles outside of it. 

I hope this trip comes with lots of self reflection because it is not one of my strong suits. I know I can be self aware, but struggle to put it into words to express. I know I will be changed for the better because of this trip. As I continue to reflect, I keep the phrase “change is good” in the back of my mind. I will come back as a better version of myself. Hopefully, someone who is even more appreciative of the life I have now, someone who is open to all new possibilities, and someone who is not afraid of the challenges ahead. Our trip to Falfurrias will be the hardest challenge I have yet to face in my adult life. I am determined to squeeze out every ounce of knowledge and experience possible. The majority of this reflection is about me. Right now, it is hard for me to think about anything else because there is so much I don’t know. I know that this experience is not about me, but I don’t know exactly what it will all be about, so thinking about myself and my own anxieties is much of what I do now as I await our departure. I hope Falfurrias can teach me how to focus on the bigger picture and look past my own worries. Our goal is to help others, and learning and discovering myself is just an added bonus.

Hannah

Preparing for a New Experience

General, Snapshots

I packed my bags last week, and I felt the need to repack them again yesterday. I keep wondering if I am missing something or if there is something I did not anticipate. I am looking forward to the heat, but I also know the heat might be a challenge for me too. I spent three years living in Palm Desert, California when I was little. In the desert, the temperature could easily reach a hundred degrees. Then for the rest of my childhood, I lived in Southern California near the ocean which was tended to be warm most days. After being in Indiana for over a year, I do miss the heat. I might regret saying so because the Texas heat is so different. Texas weather may be milder this time of year, but with the high humidity, this heat will be vastly different from the dry heat of the desert.

With my uncertainty of the Texas weather, I wonder if I am packing the right clothes. Honestly, I am struggling more with overpacking. Differentiating what is needed versus what is unnecessary has never been my strong suit. I am the type of person to pack too much because of a “just in case” mentality. Then again, as I talk to the team about what their suitcases looks like, I find myself adding to my already mile long packing list. I will overpack my field bag. I can almost guarantee it. I originally thought I would use a small field pack, but yesterday I decided to pack my field pack to see how everything fits. I realized quickly that my pack was barely able to hold everything, leaving extraordinarily little room for anything else. I should be grateful that I always carry too much because my field pack feels light in comparison to my school bag. Yet, after multiple hours of walking through the unforgiving Texas landscape, I am not sure if I will feel the same way.

Packing considerations aside, I am excited to truly experience South Texas. I have spent a grand total of 3 days in the state of Texas before this trip. All three days were spent close to Dallas, which is quite different from the area that the team will experience. Growing up in a big state, I understand how different areas can have so much to offer culturally. The ability to experience the unique aspects of the area the team will be working in will be extremely influential. I will be exposed to many new perspectives and experiences that will provide an irreplaceable learning experience. Not only can I learn about the firsthand experiences of those that are working in South Texas, but I can learn from those that have been affected by this crisis. Our team will be able to contribute to the work being done in South Texas and, in the process, we can learn about how approaches to a humanitarian crisis differ. Understanding the nuances of humanitarian work, is one of the most important educational opportunities I will encounter on this trip.

Claire

When Moments Become Memories

Reflections, Snapshots

My son was assigned a book to read in his English class and asked me to read it with him. It was called “The Giver” by Lois Lowry. What started as an effort to bond and find conversation with my son ended as a reflective experience, with many connections to the Beyond Borders Team and our work in the Texas borderlands. A major theme of the book focuses on memories. The characters in the book have none. There is no memory of the past, of other places or other experiences. Each person lives and believes there is only now. Memories are essential for growth and understanding. Our memories allow us to do well in school, to get everything we need at the grocery store, to drive a car, care for ourselves, and so much more. Our memories allow us to grow as humans and our memories allow us to avoid mistakes. These trips create core memories for the team that benefit them professionally and emotionally. With each trip I see how the team members mature in so many ways.

Team member Justin helping Dr. Latham dig
My memory from our first mission to Brooks County in 2013. Teamwork exemplified as Justin held my arm so I didn’t fall into the area I was excavating.

Our memories also hold our emotions. The Giver tells us that life is not complete without the good and the bad experiences. That is the irony of these trips. The team is purposely put in a terrible experience. It’s one in which death, despair, struggle and questioning is all around us. “He knew that there was no quick comfort for emotions like those. They were deeper and they did not need to be told. They were felt.” This blog is a way for the team to communicate their experiences and their emotions, but in reality, readers will never feel what we feel. And we will never feel what it feels like to be someone forced to cross into the US through clandestine paths. Yet, through these bad emotions and experiences, the memories are good. Team members leave with a sense of confidence in their abilities and in what they accomplished.

Dr. Latham analyzing skeletal remains
photo by the Houston Chronicle — My memory from our first lab mission to TX State University in 2015. We worked directly on skeletal analysis to aid in identification efforts.

That is because we tend to think of memories as absolute records of the past. But in fact, our memories evolve as we grow and change. They are colored by the reflection of who we are today. Often our memories are not what actually happened, but what we need to remember to support who we are today. That means our memories and experiences allow us to change our minds and our perspectives. Not because we were wrong, but because we are evolving and growing. In The Giver, Jonas longed for choice. Living in the now means accepting everything as it is. With memory comes choices and decisions. The decision facing Beyond Borders Team members is what they will do with the memories and experiences from their trip.

Team members paint AGUA on barrels
My memory from our first mission working with The South Texas Human Rights Center in 2015. Team members Justin and Amanda prep water barrels for us to place on migrant routes.

I saw a quote by another author that seems fitting here in talking about decisions in how you approach situations. “Sympathy is easy because it comes from a position of power. Empathy is getting down on your knees and looking someone else in the eye, and realizing that you could be them, and that all that separates you is luck.” -Dennis Lahane 

Team members with Deputy White on a search
My memory from our first search & recovery mission working with Deputy White in 2018. Team members are planning how to proceed with search the area.

Thank you for following us and sharing our journey.

~KEL