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‘Twas twelve days before our departure, and still here I sit,

Not preparing at all for the upcoming trip;

I should be making lists, I should be packing,

But I do not leave the couch, content with my slacking.

Winter break is often considered to be a reprieve. A month or so of no school, sleeping in, holidays, home-cooked meals, New Year’s Eve parties, and relaxation.

I have learned over the beginning of my first winter break as a graduate student that I do not know how to relax. Here is a brief list of things I have done during my five-day break:

• Gone to campus every day
• Organized papers from this semester
• Organized my binders for next semester
• Cleaned my house
• Done the dishes
• Updated my CV

Here is a list of things I have not done, but need to:

• Pack for Texas

I tell myself I haven’t started because I am waiting to do laundry at my nana’s over Christmas (laundry is expensive!), but the truth is, it is because packing will make this trip real. Since Dr. Latham asked me to be part of the team, it has been more of an idea. I’ve read articles about Falfurrias and past blog posts, trying to prepare myself. In my heart of hearts, I know that no amount of news articles or blog posts can prepare me for the impact this trip will have.

As someone who prefers to be in control, who likes to know exactly what is going on at all times, this boundless unknown is disconcerting to say the least. My anxieties about flying, overpacking, physical work, and homesickness make staying on my couch a much easier option than actively preparing for the trip.

While my anxieties are valid, they seem trivial in comparison to those choosing to cross the border. In a way, my anxieties are a perfect demonstration of the immense privilege I have. I am privileged to be flying instead of hiking. Privileged because the only real packing limit is the size of our rental van, not how much I can carry for miles. I know that while the physical work will be exhausting, I will have water, food, and a shower every day. And finally, I know that I will return home on January 12th.

It may seem as though the anxiety outweighs the excitement, but for every worry I have, I have ten things to be excited about.

I am beyond excited to be back in the field. I was fortunate enough to do archeological work at Cahokia Mounds during my time as an undergraduate, and I have been longing to be back in the field ever since. I am excited to build upon the skills I have and to learn new ones.

I am excited to bond with my team, both in and out of the field. I am excited to meet those living near the border whose work I’ve admired through stories and articles. I am excited to meet other students whose interests align with my own. I am excited to make new memories.

Most importantly, I am excited to fulfil the promise I made to my alma mater to be “A woman for and with others”.

~Sidney

As we approach this coming field season, I sit here with a house full of people I love and a heart full of conflicting emotions. I am so lucky to have been born into such a privileged family. We are celebrating the holidays in the comfort of a warm home with plenty of food, water, shelter, coats, shoes, and unnecessary luxuries that we are so fortunate to have been able to obtain through hard work and circumstance. Every year when I visit home, I am able to tell the people in my life what wonderful things I have been able to accomplish and experience through my graduate program. I am able to experience the positive correlation of “hard work” that “pays off” in a way that many people in the world may never be able to, simply because I am an American citizen.

I recently read the creative non-fiction, Looking for Esperanza, which tells the stories of various migrant women who the author encountered while searching for Esperanza. She attempts to understand some of the hardships these women encounter in their lives here in America by joining them to work in the strawberry fields in Florida to experience their daily lives firsthand. She struggled to labor under the scolding hot sun, planting hundreds of pounds of strawberries throughout the day for minimal pay. This is one of the many forms of intense manual labor that these women face in exchange for minimal wages that pay for tortillas and trailers to feed and support their families.

Last January, I participated in my first field season with Beyond Borders. To us, moving enormous amounts of rigid, compact soil from the ground was quite difficult. Our bodies became sore, and we were burning through calories which made us hungry throughout the day. When it was cold, we had the clothing we desired. When it was hot, we had the water we thirsted for. When we were hungry, we had the security of a nutritious meal in our foreseeable future. We realized how fortunate we were, so we always carried on with our positive attitudes, hopeful to make a difference in somebody’s life.

This January, I will return to South Texas with Beyond Borders to continue our mission. Being able to participate in the project last year was a career-changing opportunity for me. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to go to the University of Indianapolis was with the intention of volunteering and learning how forensic anthropologists can help with humanitarian issues taking place around the world. Not only did I get a glimpse into the struggles and conditions faced near the U.S.-Mexico border, but I witnessed the difficulty in regulating the treatment and processing of the many individuals who perish on their journey.

I imagine this trip will be quite different from my last. This time, I will have a team member as my mapping apprentice, who I will be teaching the basic principles of field documentation in forensic archaeological contexts. Learning to map at this time last year was critical for my involvement in cases at UIndy and has provided me with many great opportunities that I am excited to share with another student. In addition, exhumations will resume at Sacred Heart Cemetery in Falfurrias, which will be different from my previous experience on the private property we worked on last year. Since we are returning to Falfurrias, we already have plans to meet with some incredible individuals in the community who will have a unique perspective to share with us. Our team with be

immersed in the sociopolitical climate in a way that I have not experienced before. This is why I believe the biggest difference of all will be the depth of understanding that I bring away from the things I witness and people I meet this season. I am excited to continue building my ever-growing emotional connection with this crisis and cannot wait to return.

–Sammi