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Unprepared and Ready

As I sit on my couch, I find myself contemplating the events of my first year of graduate school and I can’t help but to feel so grateful for the amount of opportunities that I’ve had the privilege to take. I couldn’t have accomplished so much if it wasn’t for the overwhelming support of my family and friends. But, as the departure date for this year’s summer trip to Texas approaches, I am far from ready to take a break.

These past couple of weeks, I’ve been so preoccupied with the end of the semester that I haven’t allowed myself any time to think about preparing for this trip and I don’t even know how to prepare for it. Yet, I don’t think there’s anything that I could be doing differently to prepare myself for this new experience. I’ve bought bug spray and hiking boots and all other things that Dr. Latham and previous Beyond Borders team members told me I might need. I’ve made my peace with the fact that creepy crawlers will be invading my personal space. I’ve made my peace with the fact that I will be physically exhausted at the end of each day. I still don’t feel prepared. But can you feel unprepared and ready at the same time? Do those two feelings cancel each other out? While I know that there are things that may happen that nobody was prepared for, I know I am ready to explore the unexpected.

I am full of anticipation for what’s to come, whatever that may be. I know that this trip will force me to do and feel things I’ve never had to before in a place I have never been around people I have never met. But the Beyond Borders mission, our mission, goes far beyond any hardships that I may personally experience along the way. No amount of nerves or anxiety that I may be having compares to what is experienced by individuals trying to find solace along the border. I speak of privilege, opportunity and support, but those words mean something completely different to someone trying to cross the border. This, I believe, will be my greatest challenge: trying to understand what migrants are going through in just 7 days. I know this won’t be possible, but this experience will have a huge impact on my life; I hope to take everything that I learn and relay it to those who are searching for more insight than what is shown on the news.

What I’m most looking forward to is getting to meet all of the amazing individuals who spend each and every day actively trying to help those in need in any way they can. I’ve heard so much about all of the people the Beyond Borders team encounters each trip and I can’t wait to have my own interactions with them. As Dr. Latham has said on many occasion, they can do this job without us but they still allow us to take part in their daily activities due to our common goal of providing aid to migrants along the border.  

As I sit on my couch, I find myself contemplating how excited I am for this trip. It will be physically, emotionally and mentally draining, but I am ready. Unprepared, but ready.

Alba

Looking Forward

Going to Texas will bring with it many new experiences. Some of these experiences include a change in environment, while others include a change in culture and community. I look forward to the new experiences Texas brings. I am most looking forward to getting to know some of the people who have devoted their time to the humanitarian works within the border lands and those who call the area their home. Being raised in America by parents from New Zealand gave me a unique perspective of American culture. I’m interested to see if anyone in Texas may have had a similar experience growing up so close to the Mexican border, or possibly being a dual-citizen themselves. I hope by the end of this trip, I will have a better understanding of what is occurring in Texas and along the Mexican border. My understanding of this humanitarian crisis can only go so far without witnessing it for myself.

Texas will be very challenging because again, it encompasses both a different environment and culture within the community. Going into any new community as an outsider can be difficult, but going to Texas will be quite different as we are entering the community trying to understand and help with the humanitarian crisis. As an outsider, I think a substantial challenge will be adjusting to the cultural changes from my background to the background of those living in the Texas-Mexico borderlands. Another challenge will be the environment of the Texas landscape. Texas is hot and contains snakes, spiders, and boars; all of which I did not grow up with. Even though it will be a challenge, I am looking forward to the many new experiences this trip will bring.

I think this experience will be life changing. That sounds cheesy, but I mean it. Going to Texas allows us to experience a very small part of what these undocumented border crossers face throughout their journey. You don’t know what they are going through and we will never know exactly what they go through, but we can try and understand them.

Holley

Whirlwind

It’s almost impossible for me to believe that we left Falfurrias 113 days ago (as I write this).

The past 113 days have been filled to the brim with classes, assistantships, conferences, case work, regular work, and more. With everything that has been going on, I’ve barely had time to eat, let alone process our January trip.

And with the whirlwind that has been these past 113 days, I definitely haven’t been able to fully prepare for our trip next week.


In January, we spent a majority of our time at Sacred Heart Cemetery.

Sacred Heart
Entrance to Sacred Heart

While the work there was exhausting both physically and mentally, it also represented a safe space. We knew where we were. We had phone signal, a water cooler, and a bathroom.  This trip is going to be really different. Instead of focusing on forensic archaeology, we will be focusing on search and recoveries at local ranches (like we did for a short time on day 7) and filling water stations with the South Texas Human Rights Center (like we did on day 9).

Angela and I repairing a water station
Angela and I repairing a water station

While our January trip gave us a glimpse of what is to come next week, I don’t think I am fully prepared for what lies ahead. While Dr. Latham and Angela have talked to our team about the hardships we will face during this trip, there is no way to truly prepare. There is no way to prepare for the climate (political or the environment), the sporadic nature of our trips, and the physical work involved.

Though I have been in the sociopolitical climate of Falfurrias before, every day requires navigation through multiple entities, all of which are holding different views of the migrant crisis. Even here in Indiana, it is often apparent that some feel negatively about the topic of immigration. I have to continually remind myself that we are doing this to be advocates for the decedents, not to take any particular political stance, and this is what keep me motivated.

I have a hard time not having a set plan. This is something that challenged me in January, and I am sure will challenge me even more this trip. We are forced to adapt to whatever is happening that day, and what those who are on the ground every day need from us. Learning to go with the flow is hard, especially as a type A personality. But understanding that the work being done is more important than how we feel as individuals makes it much easier.

The environment and the physical work involved is going to be the hardest part of this trip by far. We are going in May, which is much different (i.e. hotter) than going in January. Again, we will be searching for part of the trip, and while this may seem easier than digging, I know it’s going to be much, much more exhausting.

The nine days we spent in Texas in January were some of the hardest of my life, I cannot wait to go back and do it all over again.

Sidney