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Demolishing Our Roadblocks

Community, Environment, Reflections

The past couple days have been filled with frustrations and successes, making the highs and lows of a day so dramatic it is difficult to adapt emotionally.  We have three days left of excavations in the cemetery.  It seems like we just got started this year and already it is coming to a close.  It seems as if we never left last year.

Justin dumping a bucket of dirt with an unknown remains burial marker closer to the camera

University of Indianapolis photo by Guy Housewright

Yesterday we completed our first quadrant.  This time last year we were on quadrant 3 or 4, and they were larger areas.  It is frustrating because we all feel we should be doing more, be more efficient, work harder, work longer, take less breaks, clear more area in far less time.  It is difficult to keep in mind that the area we are in this year is completely open with less shade, smaller so that teams are on top of one another, and that the ground is harder with more compact soil than takes more effort to cut through.

It is also difficult to remember that we are human too, and can only do so much in one day.  We move all the dirt we shovel and trowel by hand.  We also have to carry it further because of the small area confining the locations we can pile our cleared dirt.  We have to take frequent breaks that we see as inconveniences, just so that we can stay hydrated so we can work harder and longer, and so the indescribable Texas sun does not make us collapse in defeat.

In addition to this we are all in leadership roles because of our experience and training.  We love this, but it is yet another difficulty we face when we try to measure our success by how much area we have cleared of unknown individuals.  The more we can recover and clear, the more that have a chance at being identified.  It is so important to work slowly and methodically, and to be 100% positive that we miss no one.  If we do it may be years before we can get back to go through that section, if ever.  We consider it unacceptable.

All of these factors, and more, put a lot of additional pressures on our team.  It affects us all differently.  We have written several posts on what we think the migrants face when they arrive in Brooks County, yet we have no idea really.  What we perceive they face is probably very different than what they actually face.  That alone is difficult to absorb.  We have not really written much on ourselves.  Due to the fact we get extremely uncomfortable and awkward when speaking of ourselves, our feelings, our emotions, and our experiences.  It is hard because we just think our words simply can’t convey it adequately.

For my team, we need to remember that we have an incomparable work ethic, our motivations and drive will never fail us, and we cannot be deterred by simple frustrations, no matter how they may pile up.  We have our goals, and we will complete them because there is no other option.  We will adapt to our daily challenges and overcome every one of them because we do work so well as a unit.  Our physical and emotional capacities, while they may be strained, will also not fail us, they instead grow and strengthen with every person we meet in this journey, particularly those already mentioned throughout these blog pages.  What we have achieved so far is incredible, and we are not done yet.

Group picture in work clothes with sister PamThanks to the support from all the wonderful people we have met (and will meet) and encouraged us every day.  A special mention to Sister Pam who joined us for a couple days and has asked us questions we haven’t thought to answer since we first got involved with this crisis in Falfurrias.  She has been so moved by what we are doing she has actually reminded us of our motivations at a time when we greatly needed it.

–Jessica

How to Bulk Up In 10 Days: The Field Workout Program

Snapshots

A week in, our muscles are finally starting to feel pretty sore. We’ve been shoveling, troweling, lifting buckets of dirt, pouring buckets of dirt, and moving equipment around all day. I got to thinking about the amount of work we’ve been doing and decided to put some math to work (with whatever part of my brain that isn’t fried from the heat) to get an idea of how much work we’ve been doing.

Each quadrant in our overall grid measures 4 meters x 4 meters. As of today, we have finished one entire grid and half of another grid (we have to give credit to Team 3 of Baylor for helping with much of our first grid, some of the remains they exhumed crossed into our grid too). Our standard is to remove at least 80cm of dirt before digging small test pits to about 100cm and probing down to 140cm to look for deep graves. So, I made some calculations based on our above standards.

With a depth of 80cm, each grid measures 12.8 cubic meters. A quick Google search reveals that the average weight of a cubic meter of soil is about 1600kg, or roughly 3,530lbs (the dirt we are moving is much more compact, however, and so 1600kg is likely an underestimate). That means the total weight of the dirt removed from each grid is about 45,150lbs. If we divide that equally between the six of us, assuming we’ve each moved the same amount of dirt, that comes out to 7,525lbs of dirt moved per person.

Of course, there have been artifacts and remains in the dirt that take up some space, but we’ve also been helping out with every other grid and have moved quite a bit of dirt in the demonstration and assisting processes. I decided to see what adding 20cm of dirt per cubic meter meant for total weight of dirt moved. With a depth of 1 meter, each grid measures 16 cubic meters, bringing the total weight of dirt for this volume to about 56,440lbs of dirt per grid. Divided between the six of us, that comes out to about 9,406lbs of dirt moved per person.

We’ve honestly probably moved more dirt than that. Not only do we move dirt out, but we also relocate our dirt piles to access other grids. But I think that we can safely assume that each of us has moved at least 7,000lbs of dirt so far. No wonder our muscles are sore.

Our friend Stevie of Team 5 from Baylor has decided that this normal amount of work just isn’t enough to satisfy her need for fitness, so she has created several exercises that can be done at the field using our equipment. She calls them her CrossFit Moves of the Day:


Team member squatting with a shovel over their shoulders and 5-gallon buckets on either side of the shovel Team member squatting holding a bucket in their hand, their arm fully extended up Team members standing with 5-gallon buckets lifted to their chestsStevie is just one of the many people from Baylor who inspire us and keep us going. You’ll never find her quitting because her constant drive to challenge herself and push herself to the limits drives her harder and harder with every day, all with a smile on her face. We’ve learned so much from these students, and it’s students like Stevie that keep us trying to better ourselves so that we can do the best job we can. Moving 10,000lbs of dirt is child’s play with Stevie’s attitude.

Ryan

Day 7

Community, Snapshots

Group photo in dirty work clothes with Sister Pam, all holding 7 fingers up

Day 7 was a good day. We started with an amazing breakfast: kolaches! We were all bummed because we would miss the stop in West, TX to pick up kolaches this year.  But Ryan’s dad surprised us with a few dozen and we started off the day with savory sausage kolaches.  With full bellies we decided to head to work early. The sun gets dangerously hot around noon.  Since we spend so much time working with the Baylor groups each morning on technique and strategies, we don’t get to our own quadrant until mid-morning when it’s already getting pretty hot. We can’t stay late due to the heat, so we decided to work early today. We had loose dirt over a portion of our quadrant that we knew didn’t contain any remains. So we headed to the cemetery to shovel in the dark by flashlight. True UIndy dedication!

Team members digging with shovels in the darkOver the past few days we’ve had the pleasure of having Sister Pam at the site. Sister Pam is a Catholic nun who is currently living in Ohio. She feels the calling to move to Falfurrias and work with the human rights groups here.  She traveled to Brooks County to observe our work in the cemetery and look for a place to live once she moves here. Sister Pam has been a pillar of support for our group as we maneuver through this intense situation, and I’ve relied on a few Sister Pam hugs to make me feel better.  You can see Sister Pam with the team in our day 7 photo.

Team members digging with shovels within a burialWe had to move a lot of dirt today.  When we have a sense of urgency to get a task done we call it “Beast Mode” and we embraced the beast mode today! This occurs when we kick into high gear, we jump into certain roles and get them done with no questions.  Today the “Beast Mode” allowed us to get one half of our new quadrant completed.

The Sheriff and Chief Benny were kind enough to bring in equipment and move some of our back fill dirt today. We have managed to pretty much surround our grid with large dirt piles, and only small pathways leading in and out.  The Sheriff moved our large dirt mountains to an area of the cemetery out of our way. This is really going to help us as we move into the final days of the excavation.

Large red backhoe in the distance behind multiple mounds of dirt~KEL